Naughty Christmas Poems

Naughty Christmas poems and dirty Christmas poems are collected here for adults. Send the naughty Christmas poem and short funny Christmas poems that you like to your loved ones. Share the secret Santa Christmas poems and merry Christmas poems for friends with your close friends. You can easily find Christmas poems for boss and rude Christmas poems from our site.

Naughty Christmas Poem

  • I made it some pajamas,
    And a pillow for its head,
    Then last night it ran away,
    But first – it wet the bed!


  • I was sitting on Santa’s lap
    And I looked into his eyes
    Santa turned me on that day
    Much to my surprise.

    Warm and sexy
    Soft and pink
    Infatuated I was
    With just an eyewink

    Hurry, hurry next Christmas time
    Relieving me from my mental morass
    Again I will sit on his lap all red
    And ask him ‘could I please have you for Christmas?’


  • For your Christmas presents,
    I thank you one and all.
    For the big ones many thanks,
    And fewer for the small.


  • So long ago I left that house
    Everyone couldn’t believe

    That Daddy’s little girl would leave
    Saying I’d never return.

  • I made myself a snowball,
    As perfect as could be,
    I thought I’d keep it as a pet,
    And let it sleep with me.


  • This Christmas,
    There will be a new story to be told,
    So many things would unfold,
    With ringing bells all around,
    To sound of the carols that surround,
    This Christmas will surely be fun,
    As the celebrations have begun!


  • On St. Nicholas Day,
    The band of children waits;
    For the good cookie he brings,
    But for the naughty a switch that stings.”


  • A weather man predicted snow
    But he didn’t get it right
    So the female anchor on the show
    Asked to our delight
    “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches!
    You promised me last night?”


  • I only want one Christmas gift
    It’s the only Christmas wish I’ve wished
    I just want to know all the names
    Of the girls on the naughty list


  • The next time you complain
    At the lack of Christmas nookey
    Spare a thought for old St Nick
    And have a little sympathy
    For he only comes but once a year
    And then he’s up a chimney


  • A Naughty Little Poem
    She whispered ‘will it hurt me? ‘
    ‘Of course not’ answered he
    ‘It’s a very simple process,
    You can rely on me.’


  • Little Jack Horner
    Sat in the corner,
    Eating of Christmas pie:
    He put in his thumb,
    And pulled out a plum,
    And said, “What a good boy am I!


  • Guys are like parking spots…
    the good ones are always taken…
    and the ones that are available,
    are either handicapped or too far away!


  • Kissing is a habit
    Kissing is a game
    Guys get all the pleasure
    Girls get all the pain
    The guy says i love you
    You believe its true


  • The sky was dark
    the moon was high
    all alone just her and I
    Her hair so soft
    her eyes so blue
    I knew just what she wanted to do


  • It’s Baby’s first Christmas, what a beautiful sight!
    As he gurgles out loud in spontaneous delight
    As he gazes at the Tree, with it’s baubles and trim
    I know only He can hear the Angels sweet hymns.
    Holy! Holy! Holy!
    As He edges ever nearer to the base of the Tree,
    Picks up tiny toys and shakes them with glee
    Mommy and Daddy have to laugh outright.
    It’s Baby’s first Christmas- what a wonderful Night!
    Holy! Holy! Holy!


  • May this Christmas
    be so special for you
    that you never ever
    feel lonely again
    and be surrounded
    by loved ones throughout!


  • Christmas gift suggestions:
    To your enemy, forgiveness.
    To an opponent, tolerance.
    To a friend, your heart.
    To a customer, service.
    To all, charity.
    To every child, a good example.
    To yourself, respect.


  • Christmas is not about
    giving and receiving gifts.
    It’s about the birth of Baby
    Jesus in the manger! Jesus is
    the reason for the season…